Dancing with myself

I don’t like gyms.

In my younger years, I’ve “donated” to gyms, paying membership fees that I never maximized. I would go once, maybe twice or thrice then stop. I would be tempted by another fitness package, pay new fees and not finish the package. One time, I even paid a gym’s annual fee to push myself to go back and ACTUALLY work out, but never did.

I’ve always struggled with my weight. I am not blessed with genes that allow me to eat whatever I want without them showing. I actually eat a lot less than most people would think given my size and height.

In my younger years, I managed to keep the weight off because I played tennis and was part of a group that played almost every day. But even at my thinnest, I was never skinny. That was okay though, because I never had to worry about flabby arms, double chins and a muffin top.         

Then I got married and left my hometown to join my husband in Manila. We had a baby, I got a job and well…things just got out of hand.

Though I wanted to, I couldn’t go back to tennis because I knew no one in the neighborhood who did. I am not the sociable type who will just go to the tennis court hoping to get in with club members, most of who have been playing together for years, and who may be hesitant to accommodate someone new, especially one rusty at her game.

I tried walking. It worked for a while when we lived in an area where I could walk without breathing in car emissions and dust, and where I did not have to keep looking over my shoulder to check if there were oncoming vehicles.

That ended when we moved back into busy Manila. I tried walking around the subdivision park, but one round is just about 500 meters and circling the park got repetitious and tedious. I also had to be mindful of all these cars coming and going.

Image borrowed from zumbalove.net

Then a friend asked me to try joining a Zumba session at a neighboring village. I found it easy enough to follow because I can dance. But I found it hard to come up with the energy to maintain the fast, frenetic pace while doing the ever-changing dance moves.

I was challenged though by the sight of older women doing so much better than I was. I soon got used to the pace, especially when I got more and more familiar with the dance steps required per song. Now, there are actually times when I feel that I am just dancing and not exercising.

Then there’s the instructor. Jesryl Maitem is like this joyous burst of light that can’t be dimmed. This young man is so full of infectious energy and enthusiasm that he makes me smile even if he’s making us go through a repetitive set of dance moves that are making my arms feel like lead.

He laughs at us (and himself) when he exaggerates sexy, suggestive dance moves. Never in a million years will I ever be able to grind my hips or skip about as nimbly as he does or shake my shoulders and throw my head back with his abandonment and energy. He does this so consistently and without fail, that I think he is the Energizer Bunny. He just goes on and on and on…always with a smile.

It also helps that I am one of many intent on keeping fit or getting to a state of fitness. I respect this group of women who have organized themselves so that they can avail of a fitness program that is affordable, doable, closer to home and thus, sustainable. Other than my friend and her sister, I know no one else in the group but I do not feel unwelcome. We smile at each other and sometimes exchange small talk during breaks and it is enough. 

I now attend Zumba sessions twice a week and would attend a third, if not for the fact that it falls on a weekend, when I would rather be with my husband and kid. I am not fit, but there’s hope. I am now enjoying dancing with myself.